"Life of the Christian Man" cont.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Hi, welcome to Fit 101, Vocalizing Every Noted Topic with a Christian twist. I'm June Ryan, your host, and we welcome you to our podcast. Our vision is to win souls to Christ and to help those who know him by giving them a fresh new perspective on Christian living and reading God's Word. Our mission is to biblically educate people while growing in their Christian walk by answering questions that they are uncomfortable to ask in a church-like setting. You can find us wherever you get your podcast. Please like and subscribe. You can also visit us on YouTube, Instagram, or on our website vent-101.com, where you can leave any questions or comments that you may have. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 1:27

Good morning and good day to everybody out there in Podcast Lane. As you can see, it ain't no ladies up in there today. We got the fellas up here. This is the Christian Men Podcast, The Life of a Christian Man. And I'm one of the hosts, Antoine. And I'm Rich. Welcome back. I'm Brandon Sullivan.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

Mike Brown, Sr.

SPEAKER_04 1:49

Rob Whitfield, Andre Payton, Robert Buzzy Henderson. What's up, what's up? Well, thanks again for you all coming out with us. And we appreciate y'all coming on out, man, and taking time out to come fellowship with us. We had a good time on the last segment, but this time it's finna get a little deeper, which my brother already kind of started off. Now, what are some temptations or things that you struggle with today? I guess I'll start. And the last part is how are you handling them?

SPEAKER_09 2:24

Um, well, um I don't mean to go here, but I have to. Um being a single man is one of my struggles. Um like I want to be married again. So it's like I find myself like uh talking to women a lot. But um I try not to do the things I used to do. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 2:57

Uh I understand.

SPEAKER_09 2:59

Yeah, I uh wish like like being a uh a womanizer. You know what I mean? And so one thing I do now, I don't invite him into my personal space because I know me. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Because I I have been a womanizer before. So, you know, like you get in my personal space, and I just that's one of them things I like you say, I gotta go in prayer. Like I I gotta pray this thing away. I'm just being honest. Because I I do desire a wife, but having the one God desire for me, it I want that, you know. So it's like, nah, you ain't it. So I might cut you off right now. Because what else you what else are you here for? So I I just gotta let you go. Yeah, but I just like I just let them go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:10

I'm just being real. Especially that the personal space thing, I understand it, because like I already know if I'm you in my house, that's gonna tempt me too much. Yeah. I'll meet you at the park. I'll get somewhere. You ain't come to my house. Yeah, yeah. Being a man, because that's a the thing is, especially the woman that's a thing too. I if I know you like me, I know I can get you. That was my whole mind stake. So it was like living that way and understanding how trifling it can, how it looks, the perception of it, and for one, if you want a wife, you can't. How you gonna get how is it gonna work that way?

SPEAKER_09 4:42

And you can't deal with everybody. So I definitely understand.

SPEAKER_04 4:45

How about you, brother Mike? Read the question one more time What things are you being tempted in, or what things do you struggle with today, and how are you handling them? Forgiveness.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

Okay. Um we all know the devil worked. He's something else. Um from shifting uh anger from one person to the next, which would be me. So I battle with forgiving myself, um struggling with his death. Uh so um getting myself to a place where I had to reassure myself that hey, it wasn't your fault. You had nothing to do with that. You did your best and don't blame yourself. So yeah, that lived across the top of my head for a long time, man. So yeah, forgiveness, forgiving myself because it ain't for him, it's for it was for me. You know, so yeah, you had a second part to that.

SPEAKER_04 6:01

Yeah, and how well you kind of said it on the last session, but how are you handling it? Uh what are you doing? How what are you doing to handle that so you can get above that?

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Forgiving myself in therapy. Um my sessions, I've been going back to therapy uh last four weeks. My sessions have been real good. I've been tapping back in. So it's been giving me some good hope. You know what I'm saying? Uh not saying that I was drowning, but I was, my feet was in the mud though. You know, so uh just staying positive and changing my audience. You know, uh that's why I don't see you in the neighborhood no more. But I don't go, I sometimes I I man, I wish my mother would just move, but she won't move. Damn. Excuse my friend. But uh, yeah, to to stay out that environment, you know what I mean? Can't not just go see your mama, you know. So, you know, but uh changing my audience and putting the audience that I need in front of me, you know what I'm saying? To better me. So yeah, that's my spiel though. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:14

How about you, brother, man? What are some things that you may be struggling with or are tempt or things that are tempting you and how are you handling?

SPEAKER_03 7:23

Um just um dealing with offense or dealing with dealing with handling people the right way. And I I know we live on a podcast, but uh to make it plain, to not punch somebody in the face, man. Like for real. For real. And and to really, and to not have that in my heart, to learn how to really, you know what, the devil showing me this side of you because the conversation me and you had, like, it's probably something in you that I'm supposed to be helping. So the devil trying to stop that and show me this side. I need to see the side of you that I'm supposed to love. When I had a conversation, um I was kind of dealing with something, and me and Buzzy just happened to meet up, like kind of right after I had this conversation that had me, you know, at a different point. And and he kind of was explaining that to me and and explaining, you know, where my anointing was in that. And to be honest, man, to be all the way honest, that's the first time I probably ever heard myself disagree with what God was saying. Like, like, nah, now that now you going to like you know what I mean? Now, and I heard it, so I knew to correct it. But it's like you mean to tell me I'm supposed to well, hold on. This ain't one of them fluffy words to make, nah man, I'm ready to, I'm, I'm ready to do something. Like, you know what I mean? And you mean to tell me I'm gonna have to be ministering to this or this person or people that fall along these lines. And these ain't just no one-time and passing type people. These people, you're gonna have to deal with them probably for the rest of your life, or you know, so to take that view when I know I'm seeing the data. I'm not just seeing the daggers you got off for, I'm feeling them on a regular, like you know what I'm saying, been feeling them for for years, you know what I mean? So I'm just supposed to change that around, like that's hard. You know, so yeah, that's turning another cheat 100 500 times, you know what I mean? Like, so so yeah. Um, but just being able to agree, because like I said, I I heard myself disagreeing. That's probably the first time I ever heard myself disagree with something God was saying. You know what I mean? So, so I knew it's something God is saying. For me to have that type of, whoa, wait a minute, you know, but to just what not to have it all figured out, but to agree that, okay, God, if this is what you're saying, do that's what I'm this is what I'm gonna do. That's what I'm gonna put my efforts towards doing. That's that's you know, to me, bigger than a struggle. Um it's a struggle, but it's temptation, too.

SPEAKER_04 10:16

You can be tempted in that that way. I've said it on here ever since that like our last podcast, offense. I get offended quick. And the same thing. The one thing that God starts putting my spirit when that stuff, when those times come, especially with anger, for one, I I learn to pray, then two, I pray for them. Yeah. And once I transitioned over for into praying for them, that's when you allow the Lord to combat that for you. Exactly. And it didn't happen overnight. I still, like you said, I don't be wanting to slap some too. And I'm not gonna pray.

SPEAKER_03 10:51

For me, I can't, I can still go into prayer for you. But when you and it's you, my mind ain't thinking of praying for you right now. But when I'm going to prayer at night or whatever, I know the obedient thing to do, still pray for them. I ain't praying for, I know God you said vengeance is yours. I'm not even praying for the vengeance, I'm praying for them to be filled with your Holy Spirit. That's right. Them to be part of the kingdom. I can, you know, and that's still, but when you when we hear it, it's it's still different. You know what I mean? No, it's not easy.

SPEAKER_09 11:25

Can I challenge you to do something? What's that? Um, instead of praying for them later, pray right then. Yeah, yeah. And then he gotta be alive. Because people don't know I I used to have anger issues.

SPEAKER_04 11:37

As much as you smile.

SPEAKER_09 11:39

Yeah. That's what that's why people don't understand. I used to have anger issues because I still smile. You you feel what I'm saying? And I like the thing is gotta show you where you really at. I was in Gus Chicken. And I tell people all the time, I really just spend money on food. My food gotta be right. The lady didn't want to feed me. And I got so upset. And I wanted them people kitchen. And when I black out, I'm looking at who whoever I gotta touch. That's who I'm gonna touch. And I blacked out. And God showed me you're not where you think you are. I thought I was over anger issues, but God had shown me the night before, I was somebody made me have a conversation about an issue I had with my sister husband. The night before. I said, what? What that got to do with today? It triggered you. Opened it back up. It opened it back up. And the lady that didn't want to feed me, she had an issue that day too. So it's like the enemy tried to bring us together. And then that same time, God said, now go back and apologize. When I pulled back up, she said, you know you had the whole store scared. Even the men in here were scared. I said, What? I said, not me. She said, I see you all the time. I said, I ain't never seen you before. She said, people don't know you like a quiet storm. I said, where you get that from? She said, I watch people. You might don't say nothing to nobody, you might smile. She said, but when you get mad, you'll do anything. I said, no, no, no, I mean. But I had to pray about that thing right then. Even with the lady. Yeah. I had to go in prayer. So one thing to help me is just praying right there on the spot. That's true.

SPEAKER_04 14:05

That's what I meant by praying too. Yeah, I had to pray to you. You have to pray right there on the spot. And that calmness of the Lord will take you over. Yeah, trust me.

SPEAKER_09 14:11

Man, I'm talking about it the anger, it'll start fading away. And you'll just, you'll instantly like, that's what you have to deal with. Them people that was like you. You're gonna have to minister to them same folks.

SPEAKER_04 14:28

Yeah. That's part of your ministry. Yeah. And don't be touched too, man. Most definitely. We're dealing with, if you look at the way of the world, it's a lot of demons out there, man. And they're gonna tempt you. So that's about that's what I that's the same sentiments, man. The first thing I I've done, I go through that a lot. Like, because the thing, if you're a person that's quick to anger or things of that nature, the only way to combat it is this world. And I mean, right then and there, I pray for them. It ain't even got you ain't gotta say it out loud or none of that. Lord, whatever the struggle they're going through to make them tempt me right now, help them through it. And they come. Because it's not even about them at that moment, it's about you and how you respond if you pass that test or not. That's real. That's good. Yeah, Mr. Illinois is real, bro. So, how about you? What are some things you may be dealing with temptation or struggling with today and how you handle it?

SPEAKER_05 15:23

Uh I I would agree with um Brother Brandon here. Um, I'm recently single again, and so it is, you know, very difficult to uh navigate, you know, just not having a mate. You know, not having a mate there. And like before when I was single, it was different, you know, but now, you know, being married for 10 years and now being single again, you know, it is very difficult to kind of, you know, remain, you know, focused on on Christ. You know, and so what I try to do is the same thing. I try not to put myself in in situations or in spaces to where it will cause that temptation, to where I'm trying to get a number or or or whatever, you know, and you know, I I know even right now, I I'm not really ready to date in regards. I mean, I would like a mate eventually, you know, but what I'm focused on right now is is, you know, taking care of my kids, you know, raising them, you know, teaching them about God and about the Bible and different things and that and that sort of and just being a good father for them. And um, you know, so the way I try to handle it, I have been handling it, is uh, you know, staying in the word, prayer, uh, and again, not putting myself in situations or in spaces to where it will cause me to try to, you know, act in a way that I know I could if I would if uh I didn't have those boundaries. So uh, you know, it's pretty pretty simple. You know. It's it's it's pretty it's pretty it's pretty simple, you know. Um, you know, like I said, I'm not I'm not ready to date right now, so I just try not to put myself in situations in that way. But for the main thing, I just try to, you know, surround myself with like-minded individuals with strong, you know, brothers that you know on the have good families or or is on the same path as as me. You know, not other ones who you know do a lot of different things that will get me, you know, involved.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

You need to go holler at that man, you see that over my bike, we go holler at that.

SPEAKER_05 17:29

Exactly. Exactly. So it's pretty, you know, it's pretty simple. You know, it's hard.

SPEAKER_04 17:34

The way women are these days, the mentality and how everything is like bow right in front of you. Ain't nothing hidden. No. And then as you mature and getting older, it used to be very enticing. And as the more I'm growing and my focus is on him and not that, it don't even, it's less enticing now than it used to be. Not saying it's not enticing. Yeah. I'm still in this flesh and I'm still a man. But my views on it is it's been altered to where, like, like again, I I get off of social media just I don't want, just because I don't even want to see none of that stuff. Because it'll random, even though I changed the algorithm in my in my uh Facebook and stuff like that, because mine's gonna be full of number women.

SPEAKER_06 18:12

I ain't gonna lie.

SPEAKER_04 18:13

All you saw was negativeness and all kinds of stuff on there. So I had to change that. So I I just start doing like when I fast, I won't even touch the internet. I just stay on Facebook, all of that. Just because I don't want no temptations around me, especially during the fast. Because if you if you fast, you know how I get. Everything five times. So it makes the struggle real.

SPEAKER_05 18:33

And I have to definitely agree with that, you know. Uh, and that's one of the things I appreciate you reminding me on that. I try to fast at least once a day or at least once a week, you know, uh, and you know, just concentrate on spiritual things. Everything I'm listening to is on is on spiritual things, you know, it's on God, is on, you know, prophecy, is, you know, it's on the Bible, you know, and that's really helped me. And then too, like you mentioned about social media. Yeah, I think social media is a really it plays a really big part. Well, just media in general, you know, plays a big part in, you know, the way that we, you know, different desires that we have, you know, as as men. I mean, we all, you know, we all men here, right? You know, and so, you know, when we see it, you know, it it makes, if we see it enough times, it makes us want to want to get it, make us want it. And like you said, the the enemy, he he knows that about men. And he knows that, you know, you put enough different things out there, propaganda, that it'll, it'll, you'll be automatically drawn to something subconsciously. That's right. And you don't even know that you, you know, that you're drawn to it. But you've you've seen it so many times that now when you see it, it's like a okay, this is normal. Okay, this is do this, you know. Let me let me go up there and talk to this person. Let me get their number. No, because this is normal, right? Yeah, you know, but like you said, you know, having a fast, not just in in in what we eat, but also in what we look at. And I think that that is the eye gate. Yeah, what cross the eye gate. And I think that that that has really helped me to remain focused on God and spiritual things instead of you know the other the fleshly things that can you know get me off track.

SPEAKER_04 20:06

Sure. I understand, man.

SPEAKER_10 20:12

Not booking up, but you're not gonna. I mean, what am I supposed to say, man? You know, everything that y'all have said, everybody, man.

SPEAKER_04 20:19

It's about you personally. What did you think about it?

SPEAKER_10 20:21

But it's it's made, it made it's like I find I can identify so well with what everything that's been said. I'm trying not to laugh at my dude, Brad. Brandon, you went in the kitchen, dog.

SPEAKER_09 20:33

That was so real, chill. The thing is, it ain't a proud moment to show you where you're at. That's right, dog. You know what I'm saying? Because, like, even the words that came out of my mouth, my cousin was with me. He said, Man, I ain't never seen you like this. Yeah. He said, I never, he said, I ride with you every day. Yeah. I never seen you like this. And I said, Oh my God, I didn't have killed my witness. I have a similar story to keep part. Yeah, I have a similar story to that. But what I did was, he he was supposed to get off work. I said, You gotta come back with me. So I can see how you so you can see how God told me to handle this. And check this out. He's an Israelite. Wow. And I always like I had five of them working for me. You know how they are. Yeah. I said, Y'all the most mean people on earth. Like, seriously. But you can't do it. Yeah. And I had to take him with me. God told me, don't leave him out. Let him see. That's right. You go back and apologize. Let him see. You, you know what I'm saying? The God in you. And so it was like, man, I I said some stuff I ain't even proud of. Like, seriously. And I'm like, man, I ain't the enemy tried to take me back there for? You know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_04 22:25

Man, it's not easy, man. Yeah. The key thing is that I got what you said. And what people truly need to understand, for one, being a Christian is not easy, and it's a lot of uncomfortable moments. But the key part is, you actually went, you, you followed what God told you. Because we can stumble, man, but you didn't stay down. We're gonna fall, we're gonna make mistakes, but don't stay down is the key thing, and how you handle it. That showed him what how you're supposed to handle that as a Christian man, not an Israelite, because he probably wouldn't have gone back.

SPEAKER_02 22:56

And then it was a world where it came from the day before. See, you a lot of people don't pay attention to cause and effects no more. You know what I'm saying? Like people just overlook a lot of the stuff we grew up with that's we should be still using at this age that we are until we leave this earth. You know what I mean? But it was that that's that's good that you paid attention to how that door got open and it transferred. Yeah. Matter of fact, he said it opened the day before, so you slept on it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 23:28

And that's why I'm telling I woke up today. That's why I was telling him, don't let it go through the whole day. That's right. Why? Because it it sits in. It gives a chance to transform your heart. It did, man. You feel what I'm saying? When it sits there, yeah. When it said it marinates.

unknown 23:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 23:53

Overnight. You know what I'm saying? I let it marinate overnight. So it like really, it's in there. But I had to allow God, steps of a good man is ordered by the Lord. So you what makes you a good man? That the Lord is ordering my steps. Yeah, man. So I had to let him go back and apologize. I said, I don't want to apologize. What I need to apologize for? She ain't want to feed me, I'm a paying customer. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 24:22

One thing I was gonna say too is when we with that offense, we gotta check ourselves on where is pride?

SPEAKER_09 24:30

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:31

You know, because if you was being humble, you wouldn't get offended that easy. No. You know, and that's just me self-checking. You know what I mean? Like, like, like if your pride wasn't in a sinful place where it wasn't supposed to be, then you wouldn't get offended like that. It'll be easier to, okay, you're right. Because the word does say agree with your adversary quickly. That's good, man. And doing that will give me the time to see, hold on. All right, and I'm tripping. You know what I mean? Like, like who am I to think that you can't be having a bad day with you? Because oh no, you don't know who I am, or you don't know. Yeah. No, no, no. You know what I'm saying? You guys messed up. So that's ad.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

That's gasoline right there.

SPEAKER_10 25:20

So that's good. So what you what you think? All right, man. Uh I I appreciated everything. And, you know, Brandon know me. You know, it's a lot of what he said, I can identify with. Everything that y'all said, I can identify with. And the thing that I try to focus on, man, is to be honest. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to call that a struggle. I call that a habit or I call that an everyday journey. You know what I'm saying? And it's hard because any of the things of this world can get to you. And one of the things that I like to, I have to embrace is being honest. I've had moments like Brandon, where they couldn't tell that that was that, hold on, you just said that? And it's people that Andre knows. You know, but they see me act in a way that was unseemly, and I had to apologize. Or how about the fact that I I know uh people see me singing and stuff like that. And dog, that doesn't stop me from being a real person. That don't stop somebody from from getting dealt with. Somebody said something slick to my wife. And I said, hey, dog. And it was uh it was it was one of them Berkeley moments. It wasn't one of them hey dogs, like, hey man, cut it out.

unknown 26:34

No.

SPEAKER_10 26:38

Somebody thought that they was like, well, you had that eat. It's my wife. Yeah, family. Yeah, you know, and but the thing is, I have to always have a mindset to be honest, man. You know, this ain't no pretty picture, man. God is the one that makes me who I am. The good things that you see, you know, I got a lot of flaws in life. He's the one helping the brother out, you know. If it wasn't for him, I mean, I wouldn't even be here.

SPEAKER_05 27:07

Exactly.

SPEAKER_10 27:08

You know, it would be no reason to be here because I I wouldn't have no purpose. But I always have to, uh that's a that's a that's a hard thing for me because I never want to have people create an I a personal a persona of me that I'm not to make me something that I'm not. Nah, man. I'm just like anybody else, man. And actually I would say I'm lower because I'm supposed to be a help. I'm supposed to be a laborer. You know, so I always, that's one of the things I definitely used to struggle with. Now I've just accepted it as my cross to bear. You know, to be honest with people. And so they can identify with me so we all can grow together. You know. So that that's one of my things, man.

SPEAKER_09 27:52

Yeah, then man, um I don't know the address, but it's a be angry, but sin not. Yep. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 28:00

Like, yeah. Well, first, well, in James 1, 19 to 20, which is one that I keep to my heart, is be the states to be quick to listen and not quick to anger. So the main thing that I I start, that's why I said I flipped that, the whole anger thing and start praying for people on the spot. Like literally. Because it, and I once I started practicing that, that calmness came over. And and I'm a person, it takes me a long time to calm down when I'm mad. That's why I'm a person I'm either happy or mad. Ain't no in between. So that's why I learned to keep that, that keep that, to have the in between. The one that's gonna keep me there is the Lord. That praying right there, calmness instant. And I mean, I've been in the heat of the moment and it's I'm mad. Like, Lord, please just help them, whatever got them in this mood right now, Lord, because they're trying to mess with me. And I don't want to try to go to that Lord. Just please help them right now. Not about me help them, but whatever they got going on. And the calmness instantly comes over. That's good. But yeah, that stuff can stay in you, but the main thing is praying it out of you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

You know, another thing I use is breathing techniques. Yeah. And the schedule. So, you know, um, when I say that too, when you start praying, your breathing changes.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

Amen.

SPEAKER_02 29:14

So it's with the therapy and it's with with the with the word. Bingo. So both of them together. You know what I'm saying? So yeah, breathing techniques does work. They do. And when you start praying, don't you get in the calm and you talk, you're talking to them yelling. Well, you might be until you get to where you need to be. But that starts with your breathing, though, right? Yeah, good point.

SPEAKER_09 29:39

Come on, breath of life.

SPEAKER_10 29:41

I'm just saying, um, truth has set you free, though. That's the therapy part, though. Yeah, that's scripture. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? And I I caught that. Like when you are opening up and you're being honest, you're being set free. So I I I caught that. That was good. That was good.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

That's why therapy does help. Just real quick, um, you say the part of that question that caught me was what I struggle with. And it was pretty much similar to Mr. Brown, like forgiveness, man. But just this past week, I got revelation on why I struggle with forgiveness. Because I never knew why. It's a choice to forgive somebody or not. And I don't, I never really knew why. I never picked the choice to forgive. It's certain individuals that I still go, eh, we can roll around in the dirt a little bit. You know, but I was driving this this particular week, this past week here. And I was at work having a meeting, and my boss said something real rude in the middle of the meeting. Y'all over there mumbling. And you know, you want to look up under the shoulder and like, who are you talking about? You know what I'm saying? But I was driving home, get home, me and my wife, it's Bible study, it's Wednesday. I said, Man, I got questions for my bishop. You know, how I should have handled this a little better. Because I feel my own self spiking up. You know what I'm saying? And I was driving by myself, and it said, You extend mercy, but you don't give grace. Who I said, man, I almost pulled over, y'all. Because now you in this mirror looking at your God just showed you you through all of that, and you thought the offense was from the other side. Yeah. When you were the one with it, I said, man, I extend mercy, but I don't extend grace. That's why I struggle with forgiveness. Because I don't give the grace. The grace and the mercy is brother and sister. Yeah, they 20. They got to go together. You gave one, you didn't give it all. Yeah. You let God in part of it, you ain't let God in all your life. You are extending mercy by not acting on it, but you didn't give the grace with it. I see it. That's a good point. I was almost in tears as I am almost now. That's dope. That's dope. Y'all, I ain't extending grace. The same grace that God extends to me every day. Yeah. Right. Who am I not to extend it, y'all?

SPEAKER_09 32:25

Yeah. Exactly. My head say saved by grace. That's that's deep.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

No grace, right? Wow, that's deep. Yeah. I never saw it like that either.

SPEAKER_03 32:37

And transform, man. And we gotta, you know, the devil will come back trying to test that transformation. And when we react like, you know what I mean? You can you can tell, like, oh, I got a little bit of my armor chinked a little bit, because I'm still feeling this from earlier. I'm still, you know what I mean? And we gotta honor that transformation and just really No, man, I've been transformed. Like, hold on, you know what I mean? And come back to that because we used to walking in it, but as armor's slowly getting chinked away, you know, you you you changing a little bit. Pride creeping in, the transformation that you know that's there. You thinking the old you a little bit, a little more flesh coming coming alive, and it's like, nah, man, you gotta kill that flesh daily and honor that transformation that has happened. You know what I mean? And that's still growing and happening. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_09 33:30

So I was um I was at church and um went up for prayer, and the lady said, uh, you got somebody you need to forgive. I'm like, somebody I need to forgive. I forgave everybody. She said, nah. She said, Your knee be hurting you. I said, Yeah. And she said, people don't know they hurtin' because they haven't forgave. They got illnesses because they haven't forgave. Wow, wow. She said, matter of fact, you need to forgive your father.

SPEAKER_03 34:10

I was just gonna say, man. I said, what?

SPEAKER_09 34:13

I said, I forgave them. She said, oh, you gotta go again. You gotta forgive them again. Because some of your thoughts. And the reason you operate how you operate is because of of what he haven't done. You treat your children a certain way because of he didn't do it. She says the wrong motive. She said, when you forgive, your knee gonna start hurting, stop hurting in that service. I had to forgive him in the service. I got up and ran around the church. My knee stopped hurting instantly. Because I had to forgive him again. I I thought, I was telling the church, I said, I thought, if I could just be better than him, God showed me that's low-level thinking. I figured if I could just show up one time for my kids, I be better than him. God said, that's not where I want you. That's not where I want you. So I had to forgive that man. What's funny is I had to call him. God said, just don't forgive him, call him. Tell him you love him. As soon as I called him, my boots, I kid you not, the sole of my boots came off while I was talking to him. Walking in Walmart, I said, man, I'm on the phone with him. Just got on the phone with. I said, my boots came apart. He said, son, you got too much money not to buy you no new boots. I said, yeah, but these, I can't find these boots no more. They, they, they don't sell them. He said, son, I'm gonna buy you some new boots. I said, these $300 boots. He said, can you just wait till Friday? I said, you ain't gotta buy me no boots. God said, no, let them buy you some boots. So you can walk better. I said, ooh, Jesus. Wow. That's dope. So you I said, I'll wait till Friday. When I said he cashed at me, I was in Chuck's boots giving God praise. And had some extra because the boots had a discount on them.

SPEAKER_06 36:46

Talk to talk.

SPEAKER_09 36:49

I said, Lord, I just thank you. Obedience, man. My knee stopped hurting. He got me new boots. Extra left.

SPEAKER_04 36:57

That's dope, man.

SPEAKER_09 36:58

All the because of unforgiveness.

SPEAKER_04 37:01

The key part is you was obedient. Yes. A lot of times, man, that's the thing that be the key part. Being obedient, what God tells you to do. Even when you don't, like what you said, you did I disagree with him a lot of times. Like, I want you to do that. I'm like, uh-uh, uh-uh. Like, you don't do me. Not me. Uh-uh. No, I don't know if I can do that, Lord. Uh-uh. You said I said do it, man. Dang, why you gotta say it with authority this time? All right. So but the thing is though, man, every when you do be obedient, the blessings that come along with it, yeah, and just just knowing that I made the Lord happy for that one second. Yes, sir. That means more to me than anything in this world. I can and I mean that because I've I don't want to go before him and he say, Who are you? I'm down there trying to give me some crowns. I'm trying to save as many souls as possible out of man. Because once you, once the thing is, take it on this Christian walk, I really realize it's never been about me. Yeah, never has been. This vessel is for him to be used for him. And that's part of my prayer. Every day, Lord, use my vessel to save one more soul just for your kingdom and then your glory.

SPEAKER_10 38:13

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_04 38:13

That's a damn part of my prayer. But I'm gonna lighten it up a little bit. I know we got a little deep in there. But I do appreciate one thing I can truly say, I appreciate the transparency from you, brothers. Because believe it or not, the discussion we had today, it's gonna help a lot of people. Yeah, not just men, it's gonna help some women too. That's what I'm saying. To be honest, because everybody listens to that. We have a very broad spectrum of people listening to us. So I'm gonna I'm gonna make a little lighter right now. Well, maybe not it ain't gonna be light, ain't gonna lie. I don't know the light. But this will be because we've been going off, this will be my last question. As of today, what is your greatest testimony? Wow.

SPEAKER_02 38:53

Living with grief.

SPEAKER_04 38:56

And I command, I command you.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

Living with grief is my biggest testimony, man. Being able to overcome uh grief. You know, I still, you know, I'm gonna work a project process, but uh it's not controlling my life. You know, uh it can uh it can touch some body parts. It can touch, you know, it could be in your your your hip, your back. There's no diagnosis for grief. But God. That's it, bruh. Everything else, you could go cancer people, you could go to a cancer center, you know, you break your own, you go to the hospital. Everything got something for grief, don't have nothing for that, man. But prayer and God, man. That's it. Nothing. So that's my medicine. That's medicine, medicine I got, man.

SPEAKER_04 40:00

That's all I got. I know that's a little deep question, so it may take a little thing.

SPEAKER_09 40:03

I wanna um say on um like I don't know, religious or whatever, but they don't have to walk alone.

SPEAKER_10 40:14

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_09 40:15

Yeah, like I I don't have to do this life alone. If I allow him in, if I allow him access into my life, I don't have to do it alone.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

You bring you somebody to walk with.

SPEAKER_09 40:31

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 40:33

That's powerful. That's a lot more powerful than you may have to do. Because the one thing about it is that takes a lot of sacrifice, it takes a lot of hard decisions, and it takes a lot of work. The one thing that people fail to realize when we get in this walk, man, I think people start pointing fingers. They view Christianity as this one thing, perfect being, and all these different weird things. But if you read that Bible, did he use anybody perfect?

SPEAKER_09 41:03

Yeah. And he had said something in the hallway, and you don't even know what you said. But you knew it, you knew what you said, but I was one of them people who used to be afraid to be alone. I used to be that way too.

SPEAKER_04 41:20

I wish I'd die with church.

SPEAKER_09 41:21

But when I when I got to know God for myself, I knew I wasn't alone. So I I can I used to just run the streets just for that reason. So I don't have to go sit by myself. Now I can I can be at home. That's my favorite place to go. Sometimes I used to sit in the court just to not go in the house. And now I can just go in the house, say, Lord, I thank you. This this this is my peace place.

SPEAKER_04 42:00

It's just me and you. Exactly. Isolation be needed though. That's how you grow. And like, especially I know what you said, what you're facing. That time of isolation is a time for for one, you grow, and you it's gonna make you lean on God more, talk to him more, grow them more because you the temptations and struggles that come just in this flesh, period. So that time isolation is a time looking at the mirror, focus on the things that God wants you to start chipping away at. So the more we chip away at, the more we stronger we be in him. The more holy boldness we have, and the more, and the greater, stronger testimony we do have. Because guess what? We came out on the other side of that. I went through this, this, and that. But through him, I made it on the other side. So, what about you, brothers?

SPEAKER_03 42:46

Not to sound cliche, man, but biggest testimony is just being a different person, being changed. You know, kind of like the moment y'all had. Like when I talk to some of my old Marines that I ain't talked to in a while, or this or then, it's like, man, like, even if they my junior Marine, senior, whoever, it's like, man, you totally different, man. You man, I was crazy. You you know, I mean, I was different. You know what I'm saying? Go ahead and say you're not like well, I'm not I'm I'm not just speaking of the Marine combat type. I'm saying, you know, I'm raised in St. Louis, man. And then I go to the Marines and nah man, I'm I think I'm Frank Lucas in here. And I think I'm listening, all of that. I mean like, nah, I'm a St. Louis cat. Like, you know what I mean? And and to now be talking to people, you know, that if they have an issue and I reach out to them and I'm talking about God and this and that, and they like, man, I appreciate you, but let me, man, you say whoa, like more than good. Right. And I just think. Back at some things that you know, just being from St. Louis things that are just normal to us, not even trying to be outside the box. Right when you're going around people from other places, like you already extreme. Yes, that's true. But you're gonna go even more extreme, like hey man, go in and join it for this, or you can do this for that. This is like man, that's every day. Like you know what I mean? Like, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't, I was a great Marine while I was in as far as the Marine stuff, but I was I was still a St. Louis dude. You know what I mean? So, like I like living both lives, you know. Um, and just even outside the Marines, man, just being uh be able to say, like, no, I'm faithful to my wife. Yeah, but I ain't never been able to say that in my whole life. Like, never been faithful to nothing. Like, you know what I mean? Like for real. Like, you know, like um You hadn't tested on your testimony, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's what I'm saying. Just being being changed. Being changed and like actually, no, I'm not perfect by far. I make mistakes or this or that, but as far as living for for God and actually seeing people be able to see it, and they come like, hey man, and then it make you think like, dang, this was normal to me, or this was, you know, this is where my mindset was, and it's just being different now, you know. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:25

I would say me, um I I would go back to that scripture, and I think it's it's a scripture. Um I think it's 2 Timothy 3.16, if I'm not mistaken. It says that they would have no, no, 2 Timothy 3.5. It says they would have a form of godly devotion, but we were false to his power. And I think that for me, I had a form of godly devotion, but it was all on the outside. Yes, sir. You know, it was all a it was all a facade, you know, and and so I looked like I was a Christian. You know, I looked the part, you know, but inside I was empty. You know, I didn't have a personal relationship with God. You know, it was just, you know, it was all really, I mean, I I did my best in what I was given, you know, but I knew that I didn't have a personal relationship with God, you know. So it was most, mostly, like I can say, it was a it was a facade. And so on the outside, I, you know, from people who saw me, oh, he's such a a good brother, Christian, Christian guy. But on the back end, I'm doing all these other fleshly things. You know, and so now I can truthfully go and say, it's not just, I'm, I, I don't know how you all view me, you know, but you know, uh, it's not for the outside. It's it's I have a totally different inside. You know, I I I'm actually want to do the things that God wants me to do in the spirit, you know, uh, morality, spirituality, you know, physical, you know, um, and it's not just a facade now, it's actually who I am. You know, God has truly transformed my inside to where I love reading the Bible now. Before I didn't really like reading the Bible. You know, partly I couldn't understand it. You know, but now I I love reading the Bible. You know, now I, you know, I can turn my eyes away from seeing what is what is what is bad, you know. I can resist the temptation, you know, and and now if I do get married again, if if God blesses me, you know, in that situation, then I can be a better husband. You know, uh I yeah before I I wasn't. I I I felt like I was, but I missed some different things. And faithfulness was a part of it. You know, faithfulness was a part of it. But now I I know that, you know, going forward, I can be a totally different husband, a better husband to my wife now as being as a totally transformed spiritual man than I ever could be from it just being on the outside. You know, on the outside I looked good and I treated her well, but there were some things that you know I were I wanted from her that weren't that weren't godly. You know, and so now I can be a truly godly man for her and for whoever, if that if God ever blesses me with that again, you know. He will. That's the whole thing. It is what it is, you know, and so like I say, if if it's a blessing that God gives that, then I I'll I'll know how to be a better man, a better spiritual man, not just from the outside, but from the inside. And so for me, I can say it's a true transformation for me from the inside out.

SPEAKER_03 48:34

Don't and don't feel like you messed up something in your previous marriage, so you're gonna be punished for down the line and not find no way.

SPEAKER_05 48:43

Oh, no, I don't feel like that.

SPEAKER_03 48:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 48:44

No, no, I don't feel like that. A lot of people feel that way. I I feel like for me, like I said, I think marriage is a uh is a blessing, you know, but it's not a blessing that you need for salvation. Correct. You know, and so um, you know, it's a it's a gift actually. It's a gift, you know, and so you have to, we we have to steward that gift. And it's not necessarily that God is, if you mess up that gift, it you're not required, God is not required to give you another one. You know, he said, well, you messed up this gift. Well, you know, now I'm it's good for you to to to like what what did what did um Moses do? He he remained in the in the wilderness for 40 years, you know, before God can use him again, you know? And so for us, it's like, well, he's given us a stewardship to be a good husband. And so, you know, it's our responsibility to do that. And if we mess that up and the other person says, hey, well, you know, I'm gonna concentrate on my relationship with God, I want you to do the same. We can't, we can't fault that. And like was mentioned, we don't need that for salvation. We all we need is Christ Jesus for salvation. And if we're intimate, we have that intimate relationship with Him, then that's all we really need. But it's not to say that it's not something that we may mean we may want, you know, because I know, you know, me and you, you know, we you know, we um we want those different things. So um so I don't feel that way. I don't I don't feel that way. I just know that for in the in the future, I know the kind of husband that I want to be and I will be, you know, for that one.

SPEAKER_10 50:18

Man, bro.

unknown 50:19

Wow.

SPEAKER_10 50:20

Okay. Uh man, that was that was some good preaching, dog. No, when he said that uh that marriage, you know, you what did you say that? Can you say that again? About salvation in marriage? Um marriage is a gift, it's not a requirement for me. Yeah, that was so so well said. And that spoke to me. Um I was thinking about that the other day, where uh being a complete person, you should not rely on your spouse to make you a complete person. Because that's not further them. You know, and that's a form of salvation. You know what I'm saying? I need you to complete me. Well, you supposed you are supposed to be complete before that, which would enhance the relationship.

SPEAKER_09 51:07

It's putting too much on the other person, too.

SPEAKER_10 51:09

Yeah, and it's unrealistic because uh he says now unto him that is able to keep you falling, you know, you're starting to put uh God's responsibilities on that other person, which isn't fair. I'm sorry, that's not they got nothing to do with it, but that was just such a good bar. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 51:26

The lines can get blurred um with us as men.

SPEAKER_09 51:30

Um sometimes, well, we gotta take it from Hodex. Get that man some chickens.

SPEAKER_03 51:43

Hey, and the crazy thing is why I'm sitting over here, my mind been on. I don't really like Hodex that much, but I'm stopping it before I'm starting. But really I think I think the lines do kind of get blurred in that because too, like, he defined a wife finds a good thing. You know what I mean? And finds a blessing. And we we men here, and I I typically tend to believe unless otherwise see something otherwise, we more like alpha alpha males. But we do have a lot of men that aren't really carrying all of their own, I'll just say weakness, for lack of better word. And you can start trying to place your bags on the wife. Yeah. And I I think that's where that line gets blurred. I'm trying to like say things like nice and politically correct. But I mean, but we we do have a lot of men out here that are made by their wife and who she is and what she is. That's not right. No. You know what I mean? It's not right. You should be complete. And and hopefully she is too. But then when y'all merge as one, that's when it becomes you know what I mean. Force. A force. You know what I mean? And hopefully she's that uh, what is the Proverbs 31 woman? You know what I mean? And you are a godly man. You see what I mean? And now he that found a wife really did find a good thing.

SPEAKER_09 53:09

I obtained favor from the Lord.

SPEAKER_03 53:11

That's why ain't that being.

SPEAKER_04 53:12

Because you don't the favor don't come until she's trying to find a good thing.

SPEAKER_03 53:16

I mean, you you know what I mean, it's it's a different level of of blessing on your life. Yeah. You know, when when you're sure, you know, um not saying that if you're not married, you're not blessed. But that is it's a it's a whole nother level. And I don't think that's something, it's not required, but I don't think that's a level of blessing God will just withhold from you just because, you know what I mean? Because He still is gonna give you the desires of your heart. And I'm learning how to be better now, and I desire a wife. I'm not gonna keep you here. I don't think God is gonna keep you here to just be tempted all these years just because I ain't stewarded it right the first time or whatever. Nah, you you've grown in me. I know what you got, I know who's right for you, I know what you're desiring. Cool. Like, here you go. You know what I mean? But let me work this stuff up out of you a little bit more than let me let me get you where you're trying to be. Let me let me get you to where I need you to be. And then, you know, and find that what that wife that I got for you. She's got I got I'm working stuff out of her too. And I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_10 54:24

Oh, but I'm sorry. Please let them finish, man. I'm sorry. Can you can you please let them finish the statement? I'm just so interested, man. Yeah, please. Oh, baby.

SPEAKER_05 54:35

Oh, yes. And so um, and so and I think I I think both of you all basically said it is that uh it that's why it's so important to for each one's to be complete in Christ first. You know, because I mean that's where our completeness comes from. It doesn't, if we try I I think you said it's it's unfair for no, I think you said it's unfair for us to put all of that upon our wife to complete us. You know, because now we're putting them in God's space. You know, the God is the one who who completes us, Christ is the one who completes us. And then when you have two, two, two complete people in Christ come together, now you make a you make a bond, a threefold cord, you know, that is like what the scripture says, not easily broken. You know, and so the so I think sometimes what people do, especially men nowadays, is they they try to make their wife everything. And not just make their wife, but the the woman, and I'm and I maybe I should be try to be politically correct here. I feel like a lot of times women in today's society want to be put upon a pedestal. They want to be worshipped, actually, a lot of times. So where you have to, you're doing more for them than you're doing for God. You know? No, you just said it's a fine line. It's well, it's not a fine line. You know, it's we know if if we like I say, if we're complete in Christ and we choose somebody that also is complete in in Christ, then they everybody knows their role. That's right. And everybody knows how to view each other and what to expect from the other person. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:06

And I think the word complete can kind of make some of the listeners maybe confused. Because I think we're never all the way complete in Christ, but you have an agreement that God is first. Wife, you my number two, God is number one. And if she knows, husband, you my number two, and God is my number one, we're finna walk this thing out. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? People who got married that didn't know God and learned God at the same time, and now they powerful. You know what I mean? Great, perfect marriages, you know what I mean? So um, yeah, I I just wanted to say that on the first one.

SPEAKER_09 56:45

And part of us coming together, uh husband and wife, is for purpose. That's people miss that part. That's it. We have a work to do together and separately. That's true. And people miss that. And that's what I used to tell when I was married, like this for purpose. We got other things that come with this, but our mission is first. If we don't, like, as a man, we supposed to have a mission before before we even get her.

SPEAKER_03 57:24

Exactly.

SPEAKER_09 57:26

We got a work to do before she comes. But she's supposed to help us complete this work.

SPEAKER_03 57:32

Exactly. That's the thing. And then we still build. I'm sorry. No, we still build each other. Like me being the person I was in my life. Now, God could have used anything to show me what real love is, but he used my wife. And I'm not saying us being in love as husband and wife showing me real love, but showing how she operates, the way she's able to things I struggle with, and I'll be done cut you off or done something or whatever. Nah, man, she's gonna love you all the way. She gonna see everything you own. Yeah. She's gonna love you all the way. And now I can see the definition of love in the Bible being worked out through her. Now, at first it used to upset me and things like, hey man, you got us in a weak spot. We supposed to be, you know what I mean? But no, like I really see this being worked out. You you've I'm able to see it demonstrated on a on a regular basis, what this love is that God wants me to see what it is. And it's whatever from me that you know has changed her that she's seeing for me and you know, building on each other. Now I'm not laying me just being a messed up person on her, and you just drag me through this and teach me how to love. You know what I mean? Because that's that's wrong. But being able to help build each other too, but at the same time, like I said, God come first for me and for her.

SPEAKER_10 58:56

You're saying about this, uh, it brings it full circle though. Because you said something about grace and mercy, and you're seeing that in the form of your uh you're seeing that from God through the form of a spouse. Okay. And when you're not complete, what I mean by complete specifically, and I'm glad that you brought that up as far as saying what that meant to you, but I'm saying complete. What is it that I'm supposed to be? And where has God attached himself into my heart? If I haven't gotten that on my own, I need that from a source. And God is gracious enough to give that to me through my wife. And I always say that, you know, some of the things I may not have learned from my mom, I've learned from my wife. You know, and that's the thing, and it goes back to purpose. So to go back to the original question, what's my greatest testimony outside of salvation is purpose. I actually have a reason to be here. And all of us have, I've noticed this. Everybody on this panel has named their purpose through the form of something tragic or something that's hurt. But you found the fact that what you should be doing and you're doing it. You know, and I always say your purpose is sometimes it lies in what hurts the most, what hurt you the most, you know, or where your faith is stirred up, you know, where you see something that's wrong and it needs to be fixed. And next thing you know, purpose arises up. Well, I can fix that by doing this. And I had to buy into that. You know, it's not music, it's just the way I get to get to share the kingdom of God with people, and it just so happens that I'm musical, who is which is based off the fact that God made me that way. You know, so he's like, well, we're gonna give them music. We're gonna give them music. I want and a work ethic. That all comes from the Holy Spirit. That doesn't come from me. I'm not, what am I gonna do? Only thing I care about, you know, essentially is food and my wife. I'm saying at night. But, you know, all of those essential things, man, that it takes to be musical, that comes from the Holy Spirit. That comes from the Lord. And all of that, and it's just for me to give the people, the kingdom, the answers to their problems, man. I'm just giving you the Lord, man. That's all I got for you. And I get to do it through the musical point or preaching. And that's purpose for me. And that was everything for me, because I was like a lot of people, man. I honestly needed to know why I was here or I didn't want to be here anymore. Like, that's where it came down to. And they say you know, he said, Oh, I can work with that. I'll tell you why you're here. I'll tell you who I am so you can be what you're supposed to be. That changed everything for me. And I became outspoken about it. And I try that every day, man. That's my everyday life. But everything y'all said, it just comes back into full circle, man.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:00

And then I want to thank you, brothers, for again, once again, for coming on out here, man. Because man, I learned something to think, man. I'm telling you. I learned a lot, but we do it. We're gonna have to have y'all back again. Y'all ain't seen all these quests. I ain't go through half of them. I ain't even opening this book. The thing about is, man, I I'm again, I'm thankful that you all chose to come out and be a part of this. And we definitely appreciate it if you all come back again sometime, whenever you're free. And we're gonna have to dive into this again, man. Y'all dropped a lot of things today. Um, you mind printing us on, bud?

SPEAKER_10 1:02:32

Man, it'd be an honor. Father, we just glorify you and thank you so much for who you are and what you've been to each and every one of us. Everyone here added something to the other person. And it's awesome. And it's your work. And I pray, Father, that you keep on giving us wisdom, that you keep on giving us a mindset to serve you and to understand you and to share you. And Lord, I pray that you touch our hearts in those parts where we still fighting. Teach us, Father, to just put the fist down and to raise our hands up and surrender to you. And that's how we are empowered to keep on going. But we thank you for as far as we've gone, but keep taking us further than we've ever been. In Jesus' mighty name.